There are moments in life that mark a before and after regarding the decisions to move, a place, a relationship, a job, a career.
Sometimes they are changes that are planned, and other times they happen because we had no choice but to make them.
However, there are also situations where the urge for change is really just a desire to run away from the problems they must face rather than avoid themselves.
The problems or situations that we leave behind, unresolved, will be those that will repeat themselves wherever we go, until we can face up and take action.
They can be, for example, relationship problems, that no matter how much we end a relationship and move on to the next, if we have not healed something within us, we will repeat it with the next one. It’s also common to see yourself in trouble with a boss or co-workers, which seems to come up at every job we take, or repeatedly enter into unhealthy relationships.
A movement can temporarily distract us, and even cure the problem for a while, simply by taking us out of the situation in which the problem fully manifested itself. However, the problem will eventually appear in our new situation.
How do you know if that movement has to do with resolving or fleeing?
If you have already moved and a similar situation presents again, détente! It is a great opportunity for you to ask yourself: What should I learn here? What should I do that I haven’t done before?
Once you answer those questions, take concrete action.
These actions must be new, constructive towards your life and others, many times it can even mean setting limits that I had not encouraged you to set before, it is not always about leaving, sometimes it happens so that you say enough is enough, this is as far as I go, this I don’t like.
Also pay attention to your internal dialogue, if you left a job because you didn’t get along with your former boss, how do you feel about yourself? Do you feel inferior or insufficient? Because if that’s how you got out of a job, that’s how you’ll get into the next one, and that’s only letting you know what the future outcome will be like.
Any pain involved in facing our problems is well worth the effort in the end. Begin by changing the word problem to challenge. Then for taking control of your life and taking charge of that challenge, instead of avoiding it. In this way you will use your energy to advance instead of running away. The result will be different.
Listen to Paula Cabalén’s column on Radio Perfil FM 101.9.